another sad day

Because of you, my life had changed drastically,
Because of you, i have forgotten the feeling of being in love,
My life has changed 360 degree
and because of this, i don't even know who am i anymore.

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Life has been on a bumpy road for me. There are always ups and downs in my daily life and i have to face it without regrets and complaints. So what if you're sad and disappointed with life and yourself? Or what about your happiness? Can other people really look deep into your heart and feel what are you going through? No SHIT. They'll just talk and thinks that you're just ACTING to get their attention and to get their compliments.

Why people change their "mask" everyday to be in this society? Don't you feel tired of being such a person where you need to be someone else every single time you are in different place meeting different kind of friends and people? Why can't we just be ourselves? Is that fact of "BE YOURSELF" is so hard to practice in life? Frankly, i'm not too sure about other people perspective on this but i personally feel that is damn DAMN tiring to be someone else to fit in this society.

Friends bitching about your other friends. Betrayals and disappointments. Lies and Masks. Why? Can anyone tell me why? Especially you, how can you changed to someone who i didn't expected it to be? You're totally the opposite person that i know. You said you hate apples, but behind me you're eating the whole bucket of it. WHY??!?! Which is true and which are lies? I really can't tell from what i've experience with you, the words u said and the moves that you're doing now.

Sometimes, i thought i'm the one who's gonna change but seems like i didn't let myself down and i am pretty satisfied with the achievements that i have today especially in relationship. i think i am more matured in it and i should also thank you for putting me into this deep shit and made me to clean myself up all these mess and dirt that you've put in me.

I'm still waiting for that day to come. The day when either everything is over or a new beginning. As for now, life still goes on and i will strongly walk this road knowing that there is something is waiting ahead of me. Good or bad, i don't wanna figure it out. All i have to do is just wait and believe and have faith in you and us. I hope by going tru' this, my Christian faith will grow stronger so that He can lead and guide me to the path where he wants me to walk.